December 7, 2009
Kind and Generous
by Poep Sa Frank Jude Boccio
At holiday time, generosity can feel like something that’s expected of us. For all
its festivity, the season can be rife with potentially stressful situations, such as big
family gatherings where everything is expected to go perfectly, or the unspoken
pressure to select the perfect gift.
At its heart, the essence of generosity is letting go. When we are caught up
in attachments—to things, persons, activities, and outcomes—we grow tight,
stingy, and contracted. Patanjali tells us that asmita—the feeling of “I am-ness”
that leads us to identify with the body, mind, and possessions as Self—causes us
to feel separate from others. Yoga challenges us to practice generosity even when
we feel selfish, even when we feel that if we give, there will be less for us. Giving
in the face of these feelings reveals to us that the feeling of separateness is based
in ignorance; when we practice generosity, we see that we all depend on one
another. Generosity is the natural response of the awakened heart. It is also the
practice that awakens the heart and loosens the bonds of selfishness.
The point isn’t so much what we give, or how much we give. The point is
that we loosen our habit of clinging. Even the smallest gesture of generosity
begins an evolution toward true letting go, and our rigid patterns of relating to
others begin to change. At a recent family gathering, I realized I was harboring
irritation with one of my relatives over a past political conversation that had
grown heated. When I consciously allowed myself to let go of my irritation, I felt
lighter, more open, and my interaction with this family member became filled
with a sense of ease and joy. My sense of self and the polarization and opposition
dissolved into a pure letting go.
Ironically, giving to strangers sometimes feels easier because we have
fewer attachments to them than we have with family, and we relate to them
without baggage, free of obligation. But with those closest to us, our feelings are
more complicated. We feel obligation and expectation, and we can fall into taking
them for granted, whether we see them every morning or just on holidays. What a
wonderful opportunity to notice where we hold back and shut down, and where
we’re still clinging!
Ease your holiday stress this season by taking delight in the very act of
giving, with no expectation of return. By practicing true generosity, you can come
to see that there is no separation between the one who gives and the one who
receives. In giving, one receives; and in receiving, one also gives. Is it possible to
find the place in which there is no sense of giver, receiver, or gift but simply
giving and loving?
Frank Jude Boccio
Upcoming workshop:
Mindfulness Meditation
A 6-week course with Frank Jude Boccio
January 30-February 27, 2010
More info
Ongoing Classes:
Tuesdays 9-10:30am, Wednesdays 7-8:30pm, Sundays 9-10:30am
